3 Shopping Days

Only three shopping days left until Christmas. The retailers are ready to take your money. I ventured out to Target today to pick up some last minute gifts and noticed a few strange things.

Al Gore is right! Global warming is real, its not a hoax. The earth is growing warmer, the ice caps are melting, we are all going to hell. While strolling around Target making my selection of a sensibly priced yet seasonably appropriate gift, I noticed not one but two people wearing the attire that would typically be worn in June or July. Why would someone wear shorts on December 22? It must be global warming that is causing this 45 degree day which is prompting these folks to wear shorts. Maybe the dude has Diabetes and doesn’t know it, maybe he has hot flashes, maybe his fatness warms his bones. I don’t really know, but it is strange to see shorts in December.

I noticed a few people who looked like they have not been outdoors in months. One dude must have been a gamer that is more successful in Second Life than he is in this life, and totally looked out of place in Target. I’m sure his moniker of NEo69 provides social skills in the gaming world, but to see him ask for help without coverage from his Avatar was worth the extra wait in line.

Parking lots totally suck. I wonder if the lot was once a paradise that was paved in favor of parking. This time of the year, I tend to park in the back of the lot to save the hassle of playing automobile chess to find a spot. Its as if my Saturn is a Pawn moving one space at a time, while everyone else wants to be the Knight moving up one and over two just to get a better spot. I like to park in the back and walk to the entrance, not just for the exercise but because I know that I will spend more timing driving around the blacktop chess board than actually getting out and walking.

Related to parking, I like to scope the Expectant Mom spaces to see how many truly expectant moms get the chance to use the space. Maybe this is insensitive, but today I couldn’t tell if the lady was expecting another child or not. Its not that she was overweight, but she was actually a Hispanic dude wearing a cowboy hat and boots. To his defense, the sign was only in English. Snatching the second spot in the lot is evidently a privilege or a reward for getting pregnant. Now that explains all of these teen age pregnancies. The kids today are too lazy to walk into Target. Its easy to put your legs in the air to get preggers than it is to put your feet on the ground and walk to the store entrance.

I also like to scope the Expectant Mom spaces to check out those unwed mothers. We already know they put out, but thats another story…

Shop til you hear “check mate”