Christmas Card Trends?

Christmas cards have changed and I didn’t get the memo…I never saw it coming. Maybe I’ve been oblivious, maybe I’ve been deranged, maybe I’ve been ignorant, maybe I’ve been anti…anti-social, maybe I just didn’t get the memo, but when did the shift occur in the tradition of Christmas card giving? What happened to the grab and go selection of the random 30 pack Christmas cards that you signed, sealed, and stamped all in the same day? Spending $3.18 for 30 cards and envelopes just isn’t what the folks are doing these days. I didn’t get the damn memo. I have my $3.18 squirreld away in the “ashtray” of my car (if my car had the “smokers package”). I have received my Christmas card mailing list (send me a card and I will send one right back to ya…wishing you the best) and I am ready to grab and go, but you already know that I didn’t get the memo

Trend 1: The Update Letter

The first two greetings that I received this holiday season included a multi-paragraph letter with a family update. Coincidently, both letters shared updates on vacations, trips, health, happiness, and other details of someone else’s family. The letters did not have any instructions, what do I do next? I think I need to take the letter and send it to 7 friends or family members who do not know the original letter sender or else I will be faced with 7 holiday seasons of bad karma. I certainly do not want 7 seasons of fruit cake, gift cards, and bad sweater choices, so here I am obligated to not break the holiday chain. After I mail the letters I wonder how long it will take before they reach Kevin Bacon…

Trend 2: The Family Picture Card

I should have seen this one coming with the rapid digital camera movement. I should have guessed it long ago. 33% or 1 out of every 3 of my Christmas cards have been photo cards. These photos depict happiness and success framed around holiday bliss. How special it is for me to get a double shot greeting? Not only do I get a Holiday Blessing, but I also get the Kodak moment right there for all to see. How many re-takes did it take for you to get the right smile on the right face at the right time? If I were on this trend, you will hear: “This damn Christmas card better be perfect…wipe that smirk off your face…pretend you like each other. Do this right or Christmas will be canceled. Everyone say Gubment Cheese! Some Jew died for this day of happiness now give me a damn smile”

Trend 3: Non-Christmas Cards

Stop pretending to be Jewish, stop trying to be Kwanzian, stop wishing me Felix Rodriquez, just say “Merry Christmas”. I know there is a reason for the season. I’m never sure though if it is the birth or death, but either way I’m getting chocolate. Don’t send me a card that attempts to acknowledge your diversity just send me a Christmas card with Christmas greetings. I don’t want to light your Menorah, I certainly don’t want to pimp your ride and I really do not want to dwell on the beanfield wars, a simple Merry Christmas greeting will do.

When do I follow the trends? Is it too late? Is there something new on the holiday horizon? Maybe I should just plan on spending $3.18 and just live with the fact that I can’t compete with the chain letter, photo card, Kwanaza greetings that I am so blessed to have setting on my shredder waiting to be turned into packing material for my home based business; rodsandheels.com.

“so this is what blogging is like?”